SOS. As an almost 24 year old who’s been living on her own in Nashville for nearly 2 years, I can say with complete certainty that I have NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING.
You know what adulting feels like? It feels like running out of gas in the middle of a busy intersection, right next to a gas station (NO but like this legitimately happened to me about a month ago). For those few moments that felt like hours, I had absolutely NO control over my situation. I was coasting at 2 mph through a busy intersection (thank you Lord that it was somewhat downhill or I would have been SCREWED), people honking and throwing their hands up at me, power steering gone (fun fact: this happens when you run out of gas…), praying I could get out of the way enough to avoid an accident, and frantically dialing my mom’s number for help.
Isn’t this what adulting feels like though? Getting thrown into a situation you were neither prepared for nor expecting, with absolutely no control, and frantically trying to navigate through it without the slightest clue of what will happen? Adulting is one of those things that no one can ever truly prepare you for. I mean sure you know you are going to have bills to pay, have to work a big girl job to afford those bills, and navigate life in a new way, but you never truly know what you’re walking into until you’re face deep in it.
Since moving to Nashville, I have had a lot of emotional and mental breakdowns centered around my inability to “adult” well. I mean, I still miss my alarm some days, put off cleaning my clothes and/or sheets for weeks (this is a serious problem someone help me overcome this), forget to run errands, or maybe even run out of gas in the middle of the road. My message Bible app gave me a verse of the day a few days ago that I absolutely LOVED.
James 4:7-10 says, “So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet.”
My favorite part of this verse is “hit bottom, and cry your eyes out.” A lot of the time adulting feels like hitting rock bottom. But it often takes hitting rock bottom for us to be reminded that God IS the rock on the bottom holding us up when everything else isn’t working. It’s amazing how meeting God from a broken place can create a life changing perspective shift. Not all lessons have to be learned the hard way, but for me personally, it’s through the struggle that I am humbled and reminded of who I am in Christ and where I get my sustenance from. If nothing else, it forces me to turn back to God and be present to him in a way that I had been missing before.. And isn’t that the whole point? To enter back into a relationship with God?
I talked to y’all a couple weeks ago about learning to be still. Obviously in the chaos of trying to adult, I still haven’t mastered this. But every time I slow down enough during the week to stop striving and let myself be loved by God, the fears and worries about not having my crap together fade away. The peace that washes over me is enough to move me into the next week, even when I feel like I’m flying by the seat of my pants. When we slow down and “get down on our knees before the Master” he gives us the strength to get back up on our feet.
For me, adulting has been like a giant metaphor for my brokenness as a sinful human. A constant reminder that I can’t do it alone, I will never have all the answers, and that God’s grace is a powerful gift that I should never take for granted.
So I leave you with this… you CAN’T adult on your own, but if you seek your strength and sustenance from the Master of the universe, there is NOTHING you cannot do. We will never get it right 100% of the time, but the beauty of God’s grace is that we do not have to. Make time for Him in the chaos of the daily struggle. Perhaps you’ll find that it turns your chaos into order.
“In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you”